The Beginning

The beginning.

My beginning.

The beginning of the end.

The beginning of tomorrow.

The beginning of me.

Recently, I have been struggling. Struggling to find motivation, struggling to deal with failure. Struggling to be grateful, Struggling to make friends, struggling to be alone. Struggling to be strong, struggling to be vulnerable and open up. Struggling with repressing my feelings and difficult situations. Struggling with realizing my feelings - no matter what - are valid and okay to feel and acknowledge. 

I have been struggling in many areas of my life, and I'm not quite sure how to effectively overcome these struggles. But, I realize I'm not the only person who is struggling. Everyone is struggling with something. A friend, family member, coworker, stranger. Possibly struggling with something internally and/or externally, too. For a long time, I felt like I didn't deserve to feel bad because "somebody has it worse." And, yeah, maybe they do. Everyone struggles, over widespread areas.

But, I have learned that these challenges, these periods of struggle, make us grow. This is how we develop as humans. I have become so profoundly grateful for the struggles I have endured because they have made me, me. Each time we fail, we must acknowledge we were unsuccessful in reaching our goal and choose to proceed one of two ways: 1. Give up on our goal and cease working towards it, or, 2. Work even harder. To fail is to grow. By failing we can reflect on and learn what did not work for us in reaching our goal, and reevaluate our plan of action to achieve. 

Life is abundant with struggles, and therefore, failures. Who says that's a bad thing? Does the risk of failing mean we should not try at all or again? Consider the quote: "Failure is just as exciting as success. Success gives you what you want, but failure gives you what you need." Now, I could continue to type a list of "cheesy" inspirational quotes about failure, but anyone looking for that can do that on their own. 

I am very thankful - and, honestly, proud of myself - of my new resilience for striving to continually try my best to view "failing" from a positive perspective. If I never failed, I would never have learned. If I didn't learn, I would never have grown. As humans, we are constantly evolving. And I could not possibly think that is more exciting. To understand that we are meant to grow, to change, to evolve, allows us to also, therefore, look at our failures as opportunities to learn. 

"It's good to start over. It will be scary but you will see what you're really made of; it's the best opportunity to achieve what you never thought you could." -Jennifer Coletta

So, hi.

This is me starting over.

This is me working towards being my best self.

This is me taking a risk at my best life while acknowledging I might fail, but having the power and knowledge to know that my struggles and failures will only push me to grow into who I was always meant to be.

This is my new beginning.